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I’d started dating at 16 and had experienced nothing but messed-up, far-too-dependent-on-each-other pairings from that first time out the gate until the day I married at 24.I had been that girl—you know, the one who thought she needed a man.

I have no confidence whatsoever that this tactic will work, but I hope to try.

I almost went so far as to add a photo of that lovely pot of soup but, thank God, good sense and friends who love me intervened. Meanwhile, I’m gobbling up the soup, enjoying the baguette dotted with salty lumps of butter and dipped in the piquant broth. Or maybe this is just the nature of putting ourselves out there.

He hasn’t written back to accept or reject this over-the-top offer and the turmoil in my head has begun again: He can see the flaws! I’m trying to figure out how to not wade in so deep, so fast next time.

Alcohol and drug addiction didn’t help the toxic brew.

But now, with 23 years of sobriety behind me, a lot of emotional and spiritual growth to my credit, a very strong sense of who I am, and what talents I bring to the larger world, I still had no clue how to date.




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For a long time I wanted to write this down just to let people know how unpredictable life can be, especially when it comes to sex. My dad worked as a software engineer for a company in Washington state, but we moved to Houston, in Texas when I was five. Since I was educated here I do speak, read and write excellent English.