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Acknowledging that the data from an Internet-based study has its obvious limitations, Cravens and her fellow researchers believe that the results have important clinical implications.

Perhaps it’s time for couples therapists to expand their understanding of marital infidelity to this new variant on an old theme.

In a first-of-its-kind study on the victims of Facebook infidelity, Jacyln Cravens of Texas Tech University’s Marriage and Family Therapy Program teamed up with colleagues Kaitlin Leckie and Jason Whiting in a 2013 article appropriately entitled: “Facebook Infidelity: When Poking Becomes Problematic.” They used what is called a “grounded theory” approach, meaning that they did not conduct an experimental study but instead coded, recoded, and then coded once again responses they recorded from the website

With no previous studies to go from, this approach allowed the researchers to delve into the material and discover the unifying themes and issues.

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In addition, Facebook plus Google makes it possible for exes to reconnect with each other even after one or both have moved on to new relationships.

From these stories, Cravens and her fellow researchers identified these 5 steps in reactions to Facebook cheating from discovery of the partner’s infidelity to the decision about whether to stay in or leave the relationship: Whatever the outcome, no one who was a victim of Facebook cheating felt good, a reaction much like that of any victim of infidelity.

Feeling hurt was one of the most common reactions (as one individual said so poignantly, “my heart exploded”).

We already saw that at least one participant set up tracking software to monitor the spouse’s communications.

Shock and anger were two additional emotional reactions, again, similar to the way a cheated-on spouse would feel after discovering a consummated affair.




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