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“I expect I’m just losing my mind.”He asked if she had been taking sleeping pills.“If I am I don’t remember,” she said. ”“It was twelve years ago,” he said.“That’s shocking.”“She’s always been a bit like this,” Grant said to the doctor. Till we see the pattern of the deterioration, we really can’t say.”In a while it hardly mattered what label was put on it.

He tried without success to explain how Fiona’s surprise and apologies now seemed somehow like routine courtesy, not quite concealing a private amusement. Or begun playing a game that she hoped he would catch on to.“Yes, well,” the doctor said. Fiona, who no longer went shopping alone, disappeared from the supermarket while Grant had his back turned.

Something about her tubes being blocked, or twisted—Grant could not remember now.

He had always avoided thinking about all that female apparatus. The dogs’ long legs and silky hair, their narrow, gentle, intransigent faces made a fine match for her when she took them out for walks.

Over a year ago, Grant had started noticing so many little yellow notes stuck up all over the house. Fiona had always written things down—the title of a book she’d heard mentioned on the radio or the jobs she wanted to make sure she got done that day. He found it mystifying and touching in its precision: “7 yoga. Stuck onto the kitchen drawers—Cutlery, Dish-towels, Knives.

Couldn’t she just open the drawers and see what was inside? She went to town and phoned Grant from a booth to ask him how to drive home. She would stand in doorways trying to figure out where she was going.

She was talking about the time that they had gone out skiing at night under the full moon and over the black-striped snow, in this place that you could get into only in the depths of winter. If she could remember that, so vividly and correctly, could there really be so much the matter with her?

It was all he could do not to turn around and drive home.

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There was a rule that nobody could be admitted to Meadowlake during the month of December. Fiona said, “Oh, remember.”Grant said, “I was thinking about that, too.”“Only it was in the moonlight,” she said.

She was a tall, narrow-shouldered woman, seventy years old but still upright and trim, with long legs and long feet, delicate wrists and ankles, and tiny, almost comical-looking ears.

Her hair that was as light as milkweed fluff had gone from pale blond to white somehow without Grant’s noticing exactly when, and she still wore it down to her shoulders, as her mother had done.

He had lived by himself in a drafty brick house unaltered since the early years of the century, except for the addition of a refrigerator and a television set. Farquhar’s house was gone, replaced by a gimcrack sort of castle that was the weekend home of some people from Toronto, the old Meadow-lake was gone, though it had dated only from the fifties.

The new building was a spacious, vaulted place, whose air was faintly, pleasantly pine-scented.

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