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I grew up listening to stories of how my paternal grandmother, a devout Roman Catholic, would cry as her Methodist husband would only attend Mass on Christmas and Easter, and would ‘t convert.

She would cry for his soul, convinced he wouldn’t go to heaven, since he was not Catholic. On his untimely deathbed, he kicked everyone out of his hospital room except the priest.

It’s a hermeneutic which confuses “rules” with “commandments.” It’s a future for the United Methodist Church in which sacrifice-making, cross-taking, self-denying holiness has gone the way of garters and petticoats. And here’s why this is particularly germane in the spring of 2016 and why I’ve titled this piece "A Plea To Centrists": the views expressed and actions declared on the MFSA blog have everything to do with the current UMC imbroglio over homosexuality.And, if you have a problem with that, then we should end this relationship right here and now.But, I won’t ask you to convert – I refuse to cry for your soul.” My (now) husband accepted my ultimatum, and I accepted his marriage proposal almost a year and a half later.Because as both Anonymous and the commenter show us, once you become more enlightened than the authors of Scripture when it comes to same-sex intercourse, then you are inevitably more enlightened when it comes to premarital sexual intercourse as well. Instead, I have been steeped in the understanding that Hebrews 13:4 — keep the marriage bed pure — starts long before one ever gets married.I suspect that most of my United Methodist clergy friends believe the same and lived the same.

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All in all, it’s enough mama drama for the put-upon daughters to announce during a beer-sloshed break at the mall food court that they’re “taking Christmas back,” which here means starting with a slo-mo wreck-the-joint montage.

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"When I was in college, I dated a guy for two years who said he wasn't comfortable with the boyfriend' label.