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But the really interesting thing is that after having oral sex she turned away from me, lifted her tail, and walked backward into me and actually onto me. I’ve had the luck and the privilege to know two veterinarians and a doctor who were open to the idea, so I talked to them and I investigated zoonosis — the transference of diseases from animals to people. Horses have parasites, but they generally don’t, like us.

STDs are only a risk if you share horses, and I don’t do that.

In 2002 the sex therapist Hani Miletski published Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia, a book based on her study of almost 100 zoophiles — research that led her to conclude that many form deep, loving, and very nurturing relationships with their animal partners.

After consulting with her mentors, experts, and other sources, she told me that she felt I didn't need treatment for my attraction. You associated the trauma of your first love dying with your homosexual experience? When I heard the news I was in upstate New York with some friends. So I would say I’m in a polygamous relationship, or at least an open relationship.

My friend was there at the time, and he was holding her head. I’d brushed her, cleaned her under her tail, and cleaned her face.

He didn’t have to do that — it’s not like we were doing things that she wasn’t enjoying — but he was there to protect me. I’d scooped snot out of her nose — we know each other very intimately.

Each time I have a conversation about this I see other people’s darkness projected onto what I do.

Yes, anyone could tie up a horse to make sure it couldn’t hurt you and then do whatever they want to it. But I’ve met maybe 150 to 200 zoophiles, and I’ve never seen that.

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